Is Dating allow in Islam
yes that's meso Ali when was the last time you did some hell
out dating that's an interesting topic actually and it's quite a controversial
one and this is a question, I actually asked Mufti Manik.
I'm not gonna go there let's get a bit personal now hello dating when we hear the word hell out dating we it comes with a haram halal element to it but obviously the first bit is halal which is cool everybody likes to hear that word especially when it comes to eating but the dating side also when they say allow dating when they hear dating people care a bit like who do you mean by dating that sounds a bit dodgy.
Well when we live here in the West what is dating known for dating is known for girlfriend-boyfriend or other kind of things do you get. I'm trying to say so but we see how about dating people tend to be like now that sounds harm you know it doesn't sound right but then again we need to understand something yeah a lot of people have a misconception about when it comes to marriage that in Islam we do not have this not freedom but the right to get to know somebody in the right way now they think especially a lot of Muslims brothers and sisters who deal with the youth they come and say oh how do I get to know somebody here and they think it's all arranged marriage.
You know the mom Congress says yeah this is a guy you're marrying or this is a girl Marion and that's it I mean oh you can ask is their name and how old they are it doesn't really work like that you know what Islam says it's boundaries and laws to protect you but this doesn't mean let's suppose if I'm interested in a sister and I approach the brother or the father and say look, I'm interested in marrying your sister and I want to get to know her better.
We can for example can we go to a restaurant with you,the father or the father might say I want busy take my son no problem we are allowed and it's permissible for us to go for something to eat as long as the brothers there or maybe we can go for a walk as long as the brother says oh he keeps an eye the point here is that you have a right to get to know that person it's not this misconception of no you can't know him.
It will show you is profile cetera yes that could be done also but the Sharia says that the brother or the father has to be there for your own protection. So in Islam, when it comes to hell out dating which if I'm not mistaken, I think, I came up with the term so maybe I can get some credit for that but besides the point is getting to know someone in the right manner in the right circumstances so that you as a female do not fall in to trap of certain men.
Now I'm not trying to say women are the only emotional ones and women tend to get you know food easily. I'm not saying that well you need to understand a woman are emotional a bit and a guy might come with the flowers a bunch of chocolates with no gelatin.
You know and a few kind words romantic words and boom, you're in love and you think this is the guy he would never do me wrong now sisters just because you have the right intention doesn't mean the guy you're getting to know how the right intention.
So that's why our line is messenger has ordered us to have our family members involved why so then your brother can be then keep an eye. You know why because a man knows a man, so when a man knows a man when that bag comes with flowers and chocolates and sweet words or whatever it may be your brother's gonna be there thinking okay alright.
Let me give the ask this guy some questions, so he's going to maybe interrogate him a bit and even before you reach that stage if a man approaches me for marriage and you say to him okay brother no problem let's suppose my brother is gonna be there as well now in his head if he's got bad intentions yeah for this hell out dating he's gonna be thinking brother I didn't have that in my plan.
So he's gonna be thinking nah this ain't for me because you know why I'm not there for marriage, so do you know how it filters out the good guys from the bad guys because that guy's gonna think it now ain't about that life. I'm not ready to get married. So he's just going to go away Same are you telling me I'm gonna let my sister go out with some next man on a dating hell.
I don't know ain't happening you have the right to say that and I respect you however now you can't come and bring your own thoughts to the Sharia if Islamically it's allowed and you are their present and you can see and hear what's going on do you really have a right to say no, I'm not gonna allow it look that's up to you but what I'm saying is we don't want to go to the two extremes.
The other extreme yes go out with my sister let me know when you come in home the other extreme you ain't going near my sister brother, she's gonna get married yes we all gonna get married my son are you crazy you think I'm going to let any man come next to my daughter do the filtering not you.
Yes uncle I understand your concern and my brother I understand your concern, I'm a man myself. I have concerns of course if I had to do to my future daughter my sister or whatever it may be of course I would want to protect them.
I'm not gonna let some any Tom Dick and Harry just come and walk up it's not gonna happen yes.
I'm just looking for a balance in between now also I want to talk to the youngsters out there don't think this is like a free card for you to live yeah.
I can just approach him his sister no it doesn't work like that there should be some o'clock and adapt however so me personally if I had a daughter if somebody approached me and said uncle or approached my son let's say and said look I saw your sister and I'm interested in marriage and I some people might find that way too bad why is he approaching me should I be honest with you guys really honest.
I would go and kiss that man's forehead you know why because in today's time it's so hard to find genuine people who are sincere after marriage and if a man has the guts to approach me or my son for my daughter.
I respect that man, I respect the man and men like that are needed in this society because what do we have today, you have guys approaching your daughters whenever maybe behind you don't even know I can have your number
let's go in a day you know let's see convincing them and taking down the roots of destroy in their life. So when we have individuals like that who do things like a man who follow the Quran and the Sunnah.
I take my hat off to you and I respect you and you know what you're gonna get kissing the fore head for me. So any of you guys out there you might want to approach my door for her hand don't think. I'm just going to come and say yes you've got a long way to go..